Thoughts on Perseverance: From Shawn (Part II)

December 31, 2022
Meet Shawn - Ms. December 2014   |   Diagnosed at 42 (2010)

Perseverance, to me, as 2022 comes to a close, isn’t about Herculean feats of staying power, or lengthy durations of involvement, or numerous touch points of engagement. Those things are surely commendable, and represent perseverance.

To me, after a year of mulling it over, and feeling like I was falling short. I decided I fell exactly right. My distance was perfect. My “shortcomings” were wins. My “failings” were gifts from the universe. I had indeed persevered and persevered…….and persevered some more.

Perseverance, in my eyes, involves the occasions when I just couldn’t participate- so instead I decompressed with a book; when I was “talked out” and had to cut short a call with a friend in need because I needed quiet and peace; when my child, sounding like a broken record, lectured me with the same complaint time and time again, and I finally stopped responding to her and let her “figure it out” because my earlier suggestions weren’t good enough.

There are other examples, too.

At first I had guilt about these occasions where I had to put myself first. Where I put the oxygen mask over my face before assisting another passenger. Was this also perseverance?  I determined it was.

At the risk of sounding selfish - I have concluded that Perseverance includes heaping helpings of self care, often saying “no”, allowing others the grace to find solutions or face unhappy consequences of their own choosing, giving myself the approval to not offer to lend a hand, an ear, money, etc., and to walk away from situations where giving of myself leaves me too weak and weary.

As a self-labeled “people pleaser” it isn’t easy to write these thoughts down. But pleasing my own soul has given me rewards that I intend to carry into 2023 and beyond!!  

Persevere, bitches, by all means, persevere!!  

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